the things over-thinking will do to you.

so iv'e been thinking a lot, and iv'e noticed iv'e had a lot more on my mind than i thought. this semester has been so over whelming for me, not having been in school for 2 years, and i'm still not sure if this is what i want to do. but then i realized that i wouldn't wish or want to do anything else besides photography (at least something that i could go to school for). yes, its very frustrating, and i honestly have hated the photo 1 course, but i'm learning, and i also realized i cant imagine myself doing anything else besides this. every time i hate an assignment, i keep saying to myself, "it'll get better, it will, you never know how next semester is going to be, stick to it." so i am. but its so hard. lucky enough for me, i know how to push myself to that next level. i know not to give up, because if i give up, ill never know what could happen. i never know if ill love it. because this semester is all commercial based. next semester is fine art. ugh, its really hard for me to decide what to do. theres two things i've wanted to do with my life. photography, and tattooing. i've promised myself a while ago that i can do either of them. but i want to be prepared for either. theres no degree for tattooing, so this is what i'm going to school for, and i will get my degree, and i will move on. i will then be prepared enough for photography. then its just to get my license in tattooing, which i'm currently working on too. so here we go. i'm on my way to what i want to do. and hell, i could do both if i really wanted to. i just have to prepare myself. but anyways, i'm getting side tracked. i really just hope that next semester wont stress me out as much as this one, because i want this to work. every time i get frustrated, i just think of the first photo i took, and how i felt, and how i never wanted to get out of the darkroom, and how much i loved digital when i first started. i hope this works out. maybe commercial just isn't my calling. hmm, well i guess i'll just have to stick it out and find out.